State of the Art
You Want Me to Work with Who?
Part One
Do you remember when human resources was called "personnel" and the people who were selected for these positions were chosen because they were "good with people?" Fast forward to the present....Blackberries and IPods, immediate communication, cubicles and four generations working together where everyone is expected to be good with people.
As a human resources professional in today's chaotic workplace, you are quite aware that the most significant root of conflict, problems and challenges...hands-down...is people and the way they communicate and interact with each other...or don't. There's a double whammy in this for you because not only is it necessary for you to work well with others, because you're in HR you are constantly put into the role of facilitating people issues with your colleagues.
Undoubtedly you now work or have worked for an organization that provides training, team-building and coaching for its employees. Surveys show that the more focused professional development activities are offered to employees, the more likely employees are to feel appreciated and satisfied in their jobs. Naturally, recognition and fair compensation must exist as well as basics such as safety, promotion opportunities and pride in one's work.
In my work as a coach, trainer and speaker, I constantly hear someone say something such as, "I just want to do my job and avoid all the politics and people issues." I will always first acknowledge this sentiment and then quickly tell the person that this is a naive and unrealistic perspective. I'll explain that a person is rarely assessed solely for their job skills, knowledge and experience, and in fact there comes a point in many individuals' careers when these qualities are simply expected. Instead, the focus becomes one's ability to manage relationships (especially the tough ones) and to persuade, influence and lead disparate groups of people.
So the question of the hour: why in the world is it so tough for people to get along and succeed together at work? First, let me put my optimist's cap on and comment that many people do quite well at this. But just as many people don't.
I've identified five real reasons that people find it hard to mesh smoothly with others (and I'm quite sure there are more).
1. People are difficult
I'm not and neither are you! It's everyone else who steals the credit for ideas, steamrolls people in meetings, writes condescending e-mails and looks at porn sites in full view of everyone. Seriously we are all difficult in some way. Just ask your spouse or your kids!
2. Work is stressful
One of my clients has a management team that receives an average of 600 e-mails a day. Part of this over-communication is their fault but part of it is the nature of their business. Planning in American corporations is almost a lost art. Instead the typical mantra is "faster"...."now".... "urgent" and "change again."
3. Employers don't facilitate people problems
Okay, I know you're in human resources and this comment may offend you. There's no question that you are often the organizational glue connecting people to each other. But I'm talking about an organization as being a powerful entity with a CEO, a Board of Directors, senior executives, mid-level managers, and supervisors. And it sure varies as to how each individual facilitates issues with people. Unfortunately, human nature is to avoid unpleasant people issues until they can't be avoided any longer.
4. People have problems
Whether it's a flat tire, a health scare or a bad marriage, not everyone is great at compartmentalizing their personal problems and work. When someone is experiencing stress or trauma outside their work life, typically the last thing they are focused on is nurturing their work relationships.
5. People are complex
While many organizations try hard to hire employees who will fit into their company culture, people still show up at work with diverse expectations, past experiences, values and perceptions, etc. This mix of personalities, styles and work habits can certainly lead to miscommunication, confusion and conflict.
Working harmoniously and productively with people on a day-to-day basis is much more involved than simply knowing how to handle a bully, a know-it-all or a complainer. Like it or not, first, you will need to get in touch with yourself and really understand which of your characteristics are effective and which you really could improve. There are many ways to do this.
I've identified Eleven Keys to use to understand yourself first, so you then can turn around and use the Keys as a tool to deal positively with other people's flaws and deficiencies.
Your ability to develop or strengthen specific Keys, or tone them down, will determine how well you are able to cope with different situations and succeed at influencing, persuading, relating to, understanding, connecting with or collaborating with others.
The Eleven Keys are:
1. Confidence
2. Curiosity
3. Decisiveness
4. Empathy
5. Flexibility
6. Humor
7. Intelligence
8. Optimism
9. Perseverance
10. Respect
11. Self-awareness
Part Two of this article will discuss specific ways to use the Keys to assess yourself and others.
(If you would like to know more about Julie and her experience, her website is juliejansen.com; if you would like to contact her directly she can be reached at julie@juliejansen.net)